Comic Goal
Anything comic is usually amusing while a goal is something that you hope to achieve in the future. In the sporting sense and especially in football, goal is the score gained by making the ball go into the net. I know that some people will wonder about the usage of the word goal in this paragraph.
Viewed from any angle, goal is an aim. Hence, taken seriously but sometimes, in real life or sports, there are certain goals that can be classified as comical.
In this category, are goals attained with duplicity, particularly when the rules are broken, breached or stretched.
However, some of such goals may endure when achieved but they are perpetually discredited, controversial, often disallowed and do backfire.
The comic aspects of such goals reflect in the modus operandi (M.O.) of scoring or achieving them. Like in football when a referee blows the whistle for a controversial free kick and such a kick is quickly taken while the opponents are yet unorganized; of course, any goal resulting from such a kick will definitely look comical.
In God’s household, comic goals are also scored in various forms. For example, when the so-called ‘men of God’ exploit their flock in the name of God and end up enriching themselves with the catchy phrase, ‘God loves a cheerful giver,’ is it not comical? Many others are also scoring comic goals by luring ‘sisters’ to bed (instead of delivering them from Satan) for the purpose of meeting the needs of the flesh. Such wicked actors may succeed for a while but someday, their evil deeds will be exposed and the exploiter will be exploited or at least provide an explanation.
I remember how one of these dubious pastors operated in Lagos in those days. First, he will smoke hemp and after gaining satisfaction, he will then enter the church full of anointing but you will notice that it is ‘hemp anointing’ through the persistent stupid and unwarranted laughter on his face. He was doing this successfully until one fateful morning, along one of the numerous bushy and often lonely paths in an area of Lagos called Iba New site, when I caught him red-handed in the act, and he could not deny that it is a comic goal. From then, he could not score any further as the whole church soon became aware of his treachery and that was it.
In Nigerian schools, especially the bloated higher educational institutions, the actors there, are scoring comic goals regularly. Remember how the Imo State University tsunami of 2009, put paid to the chances of some of the lecturers (including the ‘holder’ of the ultimate academic degree, PhD and whose claim could not be verified) to continue scoring comic goals. Having fallen from grace, I mean inconsequential grace; some of them went into exile.
When the girls trade their bodies for good grades, they score goals that are quite comical in the sense that after graduation (if they really do), the shallowness of their educational qualifications become apparent.
I have heard the story of one pretty lady and ‘university graduate’ who was employed by one of the new generation banks today and tomorrow got sacked because she could not fix a simple ledger and this is a supposed graduate of Banking and Finance.
In politics (and when I say politics I am talking about a generic term for everything and every person in government at both local and international levels, international relations and diplomacy, sports etc,) the number of comic goals scored on a daily basis cannot be contained in this article.
Have you heard about the absolute ruler of helpless Libya? His name or names are often misspelt and I do not know why? Some attribute this to part of what makes the man difficult to understand. I am going to try spelling his name(s) but pardon me if I fail. He is Muammar Gaddafi, the Americans used to call him gadfly in those days when he was a terror champion but thank God, today he is ‘born again.’ Under the grip of emasculating global isolation, he renounced terrorism, dismantled his nuclear reactors and answered the Lockerbie question. Shortly thereafter, he turned his attentions to Africa by floating the idea of the United States of Africa (USA). He also imagined himself as the “King of Kings,” scored a comic goal by becoming the Chairman of the African Union and which he thought will enable him realize his dream of becoming African Supra King until, he was dislodged by the real Africans.
Then recently, he loudmouthed Nigeria. This time, he advised that Nigeria be split into two states viz: Muslim north with capital in Abuja and Christian south with capital in Lagos. The comic thing about this is that he is uninformed about the dynamics of Nigeria. Somebody should tell Gaddafi that it is not as easy as that. There are over 300 tribes in Nigeria and in some states, there is equal percentage of both faiths so how will this division be done?
I presume that he spoke out of lack of knowledge of the true position in Nigeria and should be pardoned; after all, he is entitled to his opinion even as a religious fanatic no matter how funny.
Another ‘comical guy’ in the continent is former President Mamadou Tandja of Niger, who violated that country’s constitution in pursuance of a third term of five years in power. Through a globally condemned ruse called a referendum, he scored a comic goal by having his way, so to speak, to a third term but was deposed by his soldiers soon after.
Tiger Woods, you should know is the number one golf player in the world, but after scoring in the game of golf, he was also scoring in the game of sex. He took accurate shots at many women but with one of them, he was outsmarted; then Tiger Woods, a beaten man after the publicized row with his wife and the subsequent loss of endorsement deals, was in sex rehab for some weeks and from where he came to deliver his now famous and well-rehearsed speech otherwise called “the televised confession.”
One thing painful is that this rich man is in an international marriage and his wife is beautiful but why he chose to score such cheap comic goals in the form of sexual escapades with as many women is hard to explain.
In Nigeria, certain dramatis personae from the Federal Executive Council, the National Assembly and Governors’ Forum to other groups and individuals are scoring comic goals daily and especially since the President’s health condition deteriorated. Remember how the much touted ‘mission of six’ to Saudi Arabia ended in a jamboree after wasting taxpayers’ money. “Na wayo!”
Remember also that the famous presidential empowerment resolution of the Senate and the confounding nascent unity (I still have my doubts) between the north and the south; are comic goals that may become counterproductive later on.
About the Author
I can be contacted through this mobile phone number: +2348033944198
January Jones – Loudmouth Golf -What should I wear? U need to vote!
|
|
Loudmouth Golf Shorts Loud Mouth Tooth John Daly $75.00 Loudmouth Golf Shorts Loud Mouth Tooth. These tend to run a little small in the waist so please order a larger size than normal!… |
|
|
Loudmouth Golf Ladies Skort Loud Mouth John Daly $75.00 Loudmouth Golf Size 6 Ladies Skort Disco Balls White.The Ladies Skorts are running a little large on sizes so If you wear a 6 normally, a 4 may fit better…. |
|
|
Loudmouth Golf Shorts Loud Mouth Disco Balls $75.00 Loudmouth Golf Shorts Loud Mouth Disco Balls. These tend to run a little small in the waist so please order a larger size than normal!… |
|
|
Loudmouth Golf Shorts Loud Mouth Stripes John Daly $75.00 Loudmouth Golf Shorts Loud Mouth Stripes. These tend to run a little small in the waist so please order a larger size than normal!… |
|
|
Loudmouth Golf Pants Loud Mouth Squares John Daly $95.00 Loudmouth Golf Pants . These run a little small so I would recommend the next size bigger.Tooth… |
|
|
Loudmouth Disco Balls White Oversized Putter Headcover $19.95 Loud Mouth Disco Balls Putter Cover… |
|
|
Loudmouth Blue and White Putter Cover $19.99 Loud Mouth Blue and White Putter Cover… |
|
|
Loudmouth Shagadelic Black Headcover $23.74 Get your dancing going on the course with the disco ball head cover… |
|
|
Loudmouth Golf Patent Leather Belt Loud Mouth $57.50 Loudmouth Golf Patent Leather Belt Loud Mouth… |
|
|
Andy Roddick Beat Me with a Frying Pan: Taking the Field with Pro Athletes and Olympic Legends to Answer Sports Fans’ Burning Questions $0.99 Massive goalies, midget batters, and Mike Tyson…Todd Gallagher faced them all to answer your questionsEvery sports fan knows that the debates can be almost as interesting as the games themselves (unless you’re a Tampa Bay Devil Rays fan, in which case they’re much more interesting). But some debates can never be settled no matter how much you run up your bar tab arguing with your friends. Well, it’s time to answer your questions once and for all: • Could an average guy start in the WNBA?• Would sumo wrestlers make great NFL linemen?• How easy is it for pro athletes to get laid? • How good are pro golfers at miniature golf?• Do pro athletes really play drunk or high?• How would a fan hit against a major league pitcher?To settle more than thirty of sports’ greatest (and most ridiculous) debates, Todd Gallagher has teamed up with coaches, general managers, and athletes—including LeBron James, Mike Tyson, Dwyane Wade, Johan Santana, Eddie George, Jose Canseco, and many others. But Gallagher didn’t just ask questions. He put these debates to the test—literally. He sent an all-midget lineup up against a pro baseball team. He swam freestyle against a doggie-paddling Olympic gold medalist. He recruited America’s #1 darts player to test that uncanny accuracy in beer pong. And, yes, he stuck a frying pan in tennis star Andy Roddick’s hands and went to battle.The results are hilarious and enlightening. Best of all, once you have the answers you’ll be able to shut up the next loudmouth who tries to debate you at the bar. |
|
|
Blue Collar Comedy/Caddyshack-20th Anniversary Edition 2pk (Dvnla $39.96 Contains the hilarious BLUE COLLAR COMEDY and CADDYSHACK: 20TH ANNIVERSARY EDITIONBLUE COLLAR COMEDY: A feature film version of America’s hit comedy concert tour, Blue Collar Comedy Tour The Movie stars renowned comedians Jeff Foxworthy and Bill Engvall and fellow Blue Collar comics Ron White and Larry The Cable Guy. The film features live stand-up performances filmed at Phoenix’s Dodge Theater as well as behind-the-scenes sequences highlighting the individual comedians.CADDYSHACK: 20TH ANNIVERSARY EDITIONGreenskeeper Carl Spackler is about to start World War III–against a gopher. Pompous Judge Smails plays to win but his nubile niece Lacey Underall wants to score in her own way. Playboy Ty Webb shoots perfect golf by becoming the ball. And country club loudmouth Al Czervik just doubled a $20,000 bet on a 10-foot putt. Insanity? No. Caddyshack. Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, Bill Murray and Ted Knight tee off for a side-splitting round of fairway foolishness that does for golf what National Lampoon’s Animal House did for fraternities and Police Academy did for law enforcement. With hitmaker Harold Ramis (National Lampoon’s Vacation, Analyze This) in the director’s chair, the virtuoso comic skills of all four blend into a riotous hole-in-one for comedy fans. In Caddyshack, the term golf nut takes on a deranged double meaning–and nonstop laughter is par for the course! |
|
|
Caddyshack $12.97 The greenskeeper is about to start World War III – against a gopher! The judge plays to win, but his nubile niece has her mind set on scoring her own way. The playboy shoots perfect golf by pretending he is the ball. And the country club loudmouth just doubled a $20,000 bet on a 10-foot putt. Insanity? No. Caddyshack. Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, Ted Knight and Bill Murray tee off for a side-splitting round of fairway foolishness that does for golf what Animal House did for college fraternities and Police Academy did for law enforcement! |
|
|
Chevy Chase $26.82 CADDYSHACK (SPECIAL EDITION): The greenskeeper is about to start World War III against a gopher. The judge plays to win but his nubile niece has her mind set on scoring her own way. The playboy shoots perfect golf by pretending he is the ball. And the country-club loudmouth just doubled a $20,000 bet on a 10-foot putt. Insanity? No. Caddyshack. FUNNY FARM: Life in the country isn’t what it’s cracked up to be when city slicker Chevy Chase moves there. One of the year’s funniest films (Siskel and Ebert) Year: 1988 Director: George Roy Hill Starring: Chevy Chase, Madolyn Smith-Osborne, Kevin O’Morrison SPIES LIKE US: A pair of bumbling spies are chosen for an important mission because of their expendibility and succeed in leading the world to the brink of a nuclear war. |
|
|
LoudMouth Golf Disco Balls Magnetic Putter Cover NEW $19.99 Winning Edge exclusively distributes official headcovers for charismatic PGA Tour stars (and fan favorites) John Daly and Fuzzy Zoeller. The ?Team Lion? headcovers were designed for John Daly, and the Cool Duck with shades was designed for Fuzzy. Recent |
|
|
Loudmouth Golf A-Tisket-A-Tasket Divot Repair Tool $15.99 New Loudmouth Golf A-Tisket-A-Tasket Divot Repair Tool. |
|
|
Loudmouth Golf Shagadelic Black Divot Repair Tool $15.99 New Loudmouth Golf Shagadelic Black Divot Repair Tool. |
|
|
Slapstick Comedy 3-Pk $38.93 The Slapstick Comedy 3-Pack contains the classic comedies CADDYSHACK: 20th ANNIVERSARY EDITION, BLAZING SADDLES 30th ANNIVERSARY EDITION and NATIONAL LAMPOON’S VACATION.CADDYSHACK: Greenskeeper Carl Spackler is about to start World War III–against a gopher. Pompous Judge Smails plays to win but his nubile niece Lacey Underall wants to score in her own way. Playboy Ty Webb shoots perfect golf by becoming the ball. And country club loudmouth Al Czervik just doubled a $20,000 bet on a 10-foot putt. Insanity? No. Caddyshack. Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, Bill Murray and Ted Knight tee off for a side-splitting round of fairway foolishness that does for golf what National Lampoon’s Animal House did for fraternities and Police Academy did for law enforcement. With hitmaker Harold Ramis (National Lampoon’s Vacation, Analyze This) in the director’s chair, the virtuoso comic skills of all four blend into a riotous hole-in-one for comedy fans. In Caddyshack, the term golf nut takes on a deranged double meaning–and nonstop laughter is par for the course!BLAZING SADDLES: The railroad’s bound to run right through the sleepy town of Rock Ridge. Land there will be worth a fortune–but the townsfolk already own their own land. How do you drive them out? Send in the roughest, toughest, leanest, meanest gang you’ve got…and appoint a new sheriff you figure will last about 24 hours. But that’s not really the plot of Blazing Saddles, just the pretext! Once Mel Brooks’ lunatic film gets under way, logic is lost in a blizzard of gags, jokes, quips, puns, howlers, growlers and outrageous assaults upon good taste–or any taste at all.VACATION: The Griswolds have planned all year for a great summer vacation. From their suburban Chicago home, across America, to the wonders of the Walley World fun park in California, every step of the way has been carefully plotted. Except for a few hund |
